Self-Compassion — Mindfully Meeting Yourself with Kindness

Self-Compassion — Meeting Yourself with Kindness

The moment you turn inward with gentleness instead of judgment, healing begins. Mindful self-compassion means treating yourself like someone you love, respect, and believe in, especially in moments of struggle. Unfortunately this is much easier said than done. Self Compassion is one of the most challenging parts of mindfulness, especially as a beginner. The part of the brain that allows us to access and practice it is located in the prefrontal cortex and is not readily accessible when we are dysregulated, so we must be regulated to be self compassionate. Otherwise our brain is wired with a negativity bias and when we are in struggle or survival mode our brain is going to fill in the blanks with negative narrative and stories because it thinks it is protecting us. So if you have tried to be kind to yourself and find yourself falling flat? Check your level of dysregulation first. Soothe and then try again.

Self-compassion invites us to treat ourselves with the same kindness we'd offer a friend. (Neuro Note: Much easier because our brain is regulate when we are connecting with another person we care about vs. stuck in the struggle or spiral in our own brain that is ironically cutting off access to the part of our brain and nervous system that allows that self compassion to flow.) That being said we can build muscle memory and rewire our brain with practice.

Mindful Action: When you make a mistake or feel inadequate, practice saying, "This is part of being human. I am learning and growing." Neuordivergent / Trauma-Informed Twist: Have a RED/YELLOW/GREEN visual like this polyvagal chart or the color self-check reminder like a print or sticker. Use it as a reminder to check on your regulation level before you assume self compassion isn’t working for you.

Mindfully Being,

Michelle Swerin, MA LPCC, ADHD-CCSP, Autism-CCSP

& Fellow Dysregulated Critic Turned Self Compassion Master

Mantra for the Day: “Color Check. Human Check. Self Care Check.”